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Parental Advice Thread


jasejase

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http://www.howtobeadad.com/2014/24374/parenterms-poouquet

http://www.howtobeadad.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/poouquet.jpg

Like finely crafted wine, you can tell a lot by the fragrances of things, though in this case, a really groady cheese might be a more fitting analogy. Normally a wine’s bouquet refers not just to the first nostril impression of a particular grown-up grape juice, it also refers to the scent (or stank) it develops post-fermentation. It’s the same for poop. It always has a distinct (or distinkty) bouquet: a poouquet.

When a baby or kid cracks open a load from the cellar of their bum, by smell alone, one can learn to tell an entire long-winded Yelp review’s worth of information before even setting eyes on the vintage. It’s true, this also applies to pee pee, but poo clearly tends to be much more nose-forward.

Parents get so good, they can smell a kid’s fart and know exactly what’s gonna be uncorked later. Some parents can develop such an expert nose that they can tell what a kid ate and when, the kind of day the child’s had, what games they played and what the weather was like where they were.

It’s pretty spectacular to observe and worthy of a slow clap, if you can get past that whole dry heaving part.

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Love this thread. One girl here who is 2yrs and 8 months and one boy due any day. The one is interesting as is, two is going to be quite the adventure I hear. :eek::lol:
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Love this thread. One girl here who is 2yrs and 8 months and one boy due any day. The one is interesting as is, two is going to be quite the adventure I hear. :eek::lol:

 

Yeah, having two kids under age 4, I can tell you you're in for a fu<kin ride.

 

When they double team you, it's curtains.

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And I absolutely loathe diaper genies. A buddy of mine wrote this about them in his blog, it's frickin genius:

 

"The Diaper Genie is a product not made on an assembly line, but spawned from the devil’s butthole on Christmas morning.

 

It’s supposed to contain the smell, but it doesn’t do a very good job of that. You have to jam the dirty diaper into the entrance point, funneling this shit and piss soaked diaper into the hole like your making excrement sausage.

 

But that’s not the worst of it! When you open it up to take out all the dirty diapers, the smell that emanates is similar to opening the coffin of a hobo whose last wish was to be embalmed with Drakkar Noir."

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Those that have issues with the diaper genie... You're using it wrong.

 

Piss and shit diapers are both fine for the first year or so. After that, the genie is good for piss and small sharts only (as the child starts to eat real food). We currently bag and hand deliver all crap diapers directly to the garbage can in the garage.

 

Also, if you fold up the used diaper and re-Velcro it together, it will make it through the genie with ease. If you are chucking open, nasty diapers in the genie... That's disgusting.

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Those that have issues with the diaper genie... You're using it wrong.

 

Piss and shit diapers are both fine for the first year or so. After that, the genie is good for piss and small sharts only (as the child starts to eat real food). We currently bag and hand deliver all crap diapers directly to the garbage can in the garage.

 

Also, if you fold up the used diaper and re-Velcro it together, it will make it through the genie with ease. If you are chucking open, nasty diapers in the genie... That's disgusting.

 

 

ok, Mr. know-it-all.

 

Trust me, we do the plastic bag-o-diaper in the garage deal too. And we mastered the really difficult (sarcasm) innovation you speak of (folding up the diaper and using the tape).

 

It's the act of removing that disgusting poop sausage bag that is completely revolting and not worth using the genie altogether.

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Welp, if it's just a piss sausage, it's not nearly revolting as you've made it out to be. The beauty of the genie is you can change it twice a day of you want; as you size your own bags.

 

Either way... Do what ya gotta do. To each their own. I do like, and will reuse, the term 'poop sausage' though.

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It's the act of removing that disgusting poop sausage bag that is completely revolting and not worth using the genie altogether.

Not nearly as revolting as having had to clean my without-power-for-two-weeks freezer in the garage last week :lol:

What I do is take that thing outside when I take the bag out, let it air a bit and spray it with Lysol which disinfects AND more importantly, neutralizes the odor. But I agree with what's been said, best not to use it for poopy diapers.

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