Jump to content
LegacyGT.com

dr_sharp

I Donated
  • Posts

    2,362
  • Joined

Posts posted by dr_sharp

  1. Its been awhile for this thread, so I'll contribute:

     

    God and the Devil discuss an Engineer

    Although locked in fierce competition for what seems like forever, God and the Devil meet once every week for coffee just to catch up with each other. One week they're in heaven and the next they're in hell. When it was God's turn to host last week, the Devil was whistling a happy tune as he walked through the gates and wore a huge smile as he plopped down in the golden chair. As he poured a cup, God said, "You look pretty pleased with yourself." "Yeah," said the Devil, "Things are really looking up since I got that engineer last week. He's put in escalators and flush toilets, and he even found a way to control the heat in those old furnaces. I've been meaning to thank you for turning him away up here." God looked stunned, and almost spilled coffee into the saucer. "You know that you're not supposed to get any engineers," God said. "Peter was breaking in some new help at the gates last week, and they must have made a mistake. Just send him back up and we'll straighten it out." But the Devil just chuckled and said, "No. I think I'll keep him. He was talking about looking into better ventilation this week. I can see why you keep them all for yourself." "Send him back," demanded God "No," smirked the Devil. God thundered, "Send him back, or..." "Or what?" the Devil asked. "Or I'll sue," finished God. The Devil chuckled again. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?"

  2. An email from a craigslist scammer. Keep in mind that I am trying to sell a wardrobe for $200.

     

    On Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 5:09 AM, scammer wrote:

     

    Hello,

    Due to shipping and insurance that a mover company is coming to pick

    up from you the cashier`s check you will be receiving will be in the

    amount of $1950 the shippers fund will be added to it..So this is what

    you are going to do.After you receive the cheque and cash it you will

    deduct your own money $200 plus a commission of $50 for keeping the

    item for me then you will assist me in forwarding the rest money to my

    moving company via Western Union to the mover who will be coming to

    pick up the item, and this must be done in good faith.I believe that i

    can trust you with the rest money. I will like to read from you back

    today so that i can contact my shipping company to get ready for the

    pick up.Thanks and more blessing. Awaiting your response today

     

    And my response.

     

    I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable handling your money. Please send only $200 if you wish to purchase the wardrobe. Where are you shipping the wardrobe to? I can ship you the wardrobe for cheaper than $1700, I'm sure. You do realize that the wardrobe itself is only worth $400 brand new, correct? The wardrobe will be empty, it will not contain any valuables such as lions or witches.

     

    Best regards,

    -Marshall

  3. I rarely drive this car and have not been launching from stop lights.

    Yes, I have tracked the car once some 70k mi or so before this happened.

     

    So we go from "rarely driving" to taking on a track at 120+mph with only 20k on the odometer? Thanks mom!

     

    :lol::lol::lol:

    • Like 1
  4. dr_sharp

    06/02/2010

    1.8633

    13.3353

    102.79

    San Antonio Raceway

    1000 ft. (complete guess)

    80°F

    2007

    6MT

    Stock Turbo

    93 Octane

    No Water Injection

    No Nitrous

    Stock RE050a at 30-32psi

    ERZ Catted DP, Stage 2 Awdtuning tune, Kartboy short shifter and front stay bushing, Bilstein HDs with Tein H-Techs, Magnaflow CBE, Weight reduction (approximately 250lbs lighter than stock).

    537607348_2010-07-1218_18_23.jpg.7f01726644bf0c569d27dbec9dfd6c4b.jpg

  5. Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

     

     

    ***************************************************************************

     

    To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

     

    ******************************************************************************

     

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

     

     

     

    *****************************************************************************

     

     

    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

     

     

    ***********************************************************************

     

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

     

     

    **********************************************************************************

     

    An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use