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How to scare a car salesman

Inigo Montoya

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This is from my local autocrossing forum.


On the way home from Sunday's autocross I stopped in at Power Dodge just to see if they had a new Challenger RT. No, I'm not serious I already have an overweight undertired pig and the Challenger is at least another 350lbs. heavier than my GTO.


I pulled up in my car, parked, and walked over to the Challenger they had parked out in front. It was an RT with an automatic and a $5K "adjusted market value" sticker in addition to the $35K window sticker as well as $2K worth of floor mats, undercoating, and window tint I actually had a few minutes to look it over before the salesmen descended. The doors were unlocked with a key in the lockbox on the driver's side window. Here's the first laugh, it has a keyless ignition, if the key is in close proximity, the car will start. Yes having the key inside of a lockbox mounted on the driver's side window is close enough.


Salesman comes up asks me if I drove up in the GTO and I said yes. Here's the second laugh, he informs me that I should trade it in because the Challenger is faster. Really I asked, how is that possible when it weighs more and has less horsepower and torque? His answer was, "It has a Hemi!" Now I'm amused, "Really what's a Hemi?" I ask. He replies, "It's like a turbo only it's not." I ask if he could pop the hood and show it to me. He pops the hood and points to the plastic cover over the intake manifold. "See it says right there Hemi!"


He asks if I want to drive it. I was honest and said that I really only wanted to take a close look and get a brochure. We go inside, the salesman starts to run all over the dealership looking for a brochure. I looked in the rack I was standing next to, grabbed a brochure and tried to make a discrete exit. No such luck, numbnuts sees me and comes running across the showroom floor.


For the last laugh he insists that I take the car for a test drive, he's even brought a dealer plate out. My patience is blown and I just decided that I'm going to have some fun with him. I told him to wait by the car and I would be back. I went to my car, got my helmet out of the back seat, walked back towards the saleman and proceeded to put my helmet on. Sat down in the driver's seat, tightened up my chinstrap looked over at numbnuts in the passenger seat and asked, "What's the matter don't you have one?"


" Sir, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with you driving."

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try taking a brand new young female sales person for a test drive in a RX8 and not telling her you know how to turn the stability control all the way off.....


Did that and then took the first nice corner slightly sideways.... She screamed... asked how i did it... Then asked me to do it again before telling me to head back to the dealership.




On the note of that experience. I HATE it when the sales person thinks they know more about cars than me. I have yet to meet one who could do anything more than quote the brochure and rag on the obvious( ei "this subaru has Symmetrical AWD and it is better than all other AWD systems out there becuase its SYMETRICAL")

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"It's like a turbo only it's not."


Best quote ever


A Hemi engine (from hemisphere) is an internal-combustion engine in which the combustion chambers are of hemispherical form. Chrysler Corporation has registered "HEMI" as a trademark in the United States[1], though they were neither the hemi engine's inventors nor the first to commercialize hemi engines.

Hemispherical combustion chambers, which had been used for centuries in mortars and cannon[2], were introduced on some of the earliest automotive engines, shortly after proving the concept of internal combustion engines themselves.


With the hemispherical combustion chamber design, the intake and exhaust valves are usually on opposite sides of the chamber, unlike the in-line valve arrangement common to most engines with wedge-shaped combustion chambers. Therefore, significant challenges in the commercialization of hemi engines revolved around the design of the valve actuation, and how to make it effective, efficient, and reliable at an acceptable cost. Early in Chrysler's development of their 1950s hemi engine, the head was referred to in company advertising as the Double Rocker head.[3]


Although a wedge-head design offers simplified valve actuation, it usually requires the air/fuel mixture to make sharp turns en route to and from the chamber. With a hemispherical chamber, larger valves are possible and a straighter, less restrictive flow path can be provided for the air/fuel mixture. This improves engine breathing. Placing the spark plug near the center of the chamber aids in achieving complete combustion of the fuel/air mixture, though it is not mandatory.

Drawbacks of the hemispherical chamber such as increased production cost, high relative weight (25% heavier than a comparable wedge head per Chrysler's engineers[4]), poor low-rpm performance characteristics and difficulty meeting emissions standards have pushed the hemi head out of favor.



Just print that out and bring it with you.... Do notice through all of wikipedia they dont use the word TURBO once!!!

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i used to sell cars (not proud of it btw) its rare you find a customer who knows the car back to front but when i did i knew more then they expected.


i was always honest, if i didnt know the info i told them i would find out for them.


alot of customers liked this, i was salesman of the month 5x and would have won salesman of the year if i was there the entire year (started in may)


it was nice to meet a fellow enthusiast, honestly it made my job 100x easier and it was almost always a sure deal.

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