one69chev Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 My new hero: > Subject: FW: What Happens to Bored Husbands in WAL-MART > > > WHAT HAPPENS TO BORED HUSBANDS IN WALMART? > > > > Ever wonder what happens when you get separated from your Husband in > Wal-Mart? The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local > Wal-Mart Store. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would > NEVER take her husband shopping with her again!!! > > > > January 12, 2006 > > > > Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints > > > > Dear Mrs. Fenton, > > Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing > quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior > and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of > our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance > equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are > listed below. > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's > carts when they weren't looking. > > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute > intervals. > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the > restrooms. > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, > Code 3 in house wares..... and watched what happened. > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on > layaway. > > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. > > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other > shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding > department. > > 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to > cry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' > > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a > mirror, and picked his nose. > > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked > the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. > > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the > "Mission Impossible" theme. > > 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" > using different size funnels. > > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, > yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" > > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he > assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices > again!!!!" > > (And, last, but not least!) > > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; > and then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" > Man, i love that guy:wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bosco Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 bosco Stay Stock Stay Happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcTec34 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 :lol: funny. i hate shopping at wal-mart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AWDxBOOST Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vodoo-chile Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Well, I can officially say that I have done #'s 2, 5 (not M&M but a small toy for my son taht he had been looking for the longest time. It was like $4.99 and I didn't have my wallet), 6, 11, & 13! Kyle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
one69chev Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 Well, I can officially say that I have done #'s 2, 5 (not M&M but a small toy for my son taht he had been looking for the longest time. It was like $4.99 and I didn't have my wallet), 6, 11, & 13! Kyle awesome.....my wife has officially banned me from walmart for the forseeable future upon reading this..... cool avatar btw....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shediesforhim Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjing Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wai_pang2 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 i may have to try some of these some time soon. but maybe Target as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rony Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I haven't been in a walmart in 3 years.... My Car vBGarage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobE Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 :lol: :lol: http://newenglandsubarus.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hanger Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 :lol::lol: If this is true... is he Homer in real life? ○ ○ ○ Instagram: itshangertime :spin: ○ ○ ○ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight705 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 bwhahahaha, i want to try these now... haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLegacy99 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Hahahaha Thats amazing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MannyLegacy Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 :lol: funny. i hate shopping at wal-mart +1 I avoid Walmart as much as possible. EXCEPT that the one near my house is 24hrs. So if you go late then you don't have to deal with all the snot-nosed brats, etc. :munch: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PimpFro Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 :lol: ITs great!!! Pure Adrenaline Attached... To A License Plate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamondgraymetallic21 Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 WalMart FTW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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