Moderators BarManBean Posted July 19, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 19, 2013 We only have a 17 month old at the moment, but my brother is up to a litter of 3 so far--all under 4, lol. Anyway, his oldest (boy) is a very picky eater who really has never had much of an appetite for anything. The rule in their house is that if he ASKS for it, he has to eat it. If they put it on a plate for him there's plenty of room for negotiation, but when he specifically asks for it the onus is on him. It obviously won't work all the time and no rule can be 100% steadfast, but I like the general premise of it--you chose what you wanted and now you have to follow up on that choice; if you don't want it that's fine but you won't be getting anything else. 2 years old is tough though--old enough to be pushy but not old enough to really understand everything quite yet. "Punishment" or "discipline" seems tough for our 17 month old--he's crazy smart, but some things just aren't effective quite yet. "Bullet-proof" your OEM TMIC! <<Buy your kit here>> Not currently in stock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Kid just texts me - she's a camp counselor-it-training... 'so I got like really sad a bit ago and IDK what to do. Like I have to be all happy for the kids and I don't want the staff to think I'm not good enough to do my job ssoooo. IDK'. I told her to hang in there and keep a smile on her face... text me her blues... what made her sad. She says 'IDK. I'm just hot and sweaty and I feel like none of the counselors here really like me and like I don't really fit in'. WTF How do I answer that????? Why is she so hard on herself? She's brilliant, pretty, smart, talented, etc. I just don't know what to tell her. Except that I love her. I'm just at a loss. She's camping outside in nasty MD weather. I know she didn't sleep well last night, so she's exhausted. I have no idea what to do. Sorry for the rant. Considering the time of year it's very easy to get dehydrated, and a bad mood is one early sign. A lot of water and a tad of salt. No soda - sugar just makes the system go bungee-jumping. And as someone stated - calm down, both for you and her. It's likely that the other counselors has the same problem with the heat and sweat. There's a reason why people in some areas are seen as lazy bums sleeping in the middle of the day - but that's because they have figured out that they will just blow every valve if they try to do something in the heat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05GT Guru Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 2 is when the time outs started. Do not give in to their every cry, whine, or scream fest. That jsut teaches them to keep doing it. You do not want to be one of those parents with a 8 or ten year old who screams there head off and rolls around on the floor everytime you tell them no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJBerk Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Considering the time of year it's very easy to get dehydrated, and a bad mood is one early sign. A lot of water and a tad of salt. No soda - sugar just makes the system go bungee-jumping. And as someone stated - calm down, both for you and her. It's likely that the other counselors has the same problem with the heat and sweat. There's a reason why people in some areas are seen as lazy bums sleeping in the middle of the day - but that's because they have figured out that they will just blow every valve if they try to do something in the heat. Thanks. She survived the week and got home exhausted and covered in bug bites last night. She absolutely has never consumed enough water (or any liquid for that matter), so I'm sure that was part of it. Despite the low earlier in the week, she came home saying that once again (this was her 2nd year), it was the best thing she's done. She LOVES being a camp counselor and spending time out doors with the kids. I'm very proud of her. I know I say it all the time and it's true. I'm going to miss her when she goes next month. A LOT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el5y Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 2 is when the time outs started. Do not give in to their every cry, whine, or scream fest. That jsut teaches them to keep doing it. You do not want to be one of those parents with a 8 or ten year old who screams there head off and rolls around on the floor everytime you tell them no. Yeah we use time outs when he does something we don't like and won't stop (like putting his feet on the table or throwing toys) but given his minimal appetite since birth (considered failure to thrive for the first 6 months and barely breaking the 20th percentile for weight even age adjusted for prematurity) we want him to eat as much as possible. Its just frustrating when he asks for something then refuses to eat it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurlyOldManMN Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 2 is when the time outs started. Do not give in to their every cry, whine, or scream fest. That jsut teaches them to keep doing it. You do not want to be one of those parents with a 8 or ten year old who screams there head off and rolls around on the floor everytime you tell them no. Beat me to it. Try to remember that their whole purpose in life at 2-3 is to start pushing for and locating boundaries. Your job is to give them clear indications of where said boundaries are. It gets easier to communicate boundaries as they get older (provided you've been consistent with setting and sticking to them). For now they're just going to flat out test you.. Throwing a flaming hissy fit over trivial things like this is a boundary for me. It's not easy seeing your little one scream over something you have direct influence over, but it's not nearly as difficult as dealing with the fallout should they learn tantrums are the proven way to go in order to get what they want, RIGHT MEOW. Hang in there. Expect and prepare yourself for some drama while they start making the "this 'ish doesn't fly" connection. It gets better. Promise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el5y Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Beat me to it. Try to remember that their whole purpose in life at 2-3 is to start pushing for and locating boundaries. Your job is to give them clear indications of where said boundaries are. Throwing a flaming hissy fit over trivial things like this is a boundary for me. It's not easy seeing your little one scream over something you have direct influence over, but it's not nearly as difficult as dealing with the fallout should they learn tantrums are the proven way to go in order to get what they want, RIGHT MEOW. Hang in there. Expect and prepare yourself for some drama while they start making the "this 'ish doesn't fly" connection. It gets better. Promise. LOL yeah usually for the hissy fits I let them go until he stops. When it relates to food (like I said in my other post) we don't want any negative connotations associated with eating because of his low weight already so we're trying to make sure he eats enough. All in all this morning I think he finished one fruit pouch (100 calories) 1 bottle of juice and a teddy graham or two.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurlyOldManMN Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Pediatrician helped out at all? Figure there's got to be some sneaky ways to supplement what he DOES eat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BarManBean Posted July 19, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 19, 2013 Also try giving him direct choices. Instead of just fetching what he asks for, maybe start off with a couple of things in front of him and ask him directly--would you like 'XX' or would you like 'YY'. Leaves things a little less open-ended but gives him the power to make his own choice. Might help, might not. "Bullet-proof" your OEM TMIC! <<Buy your kit here>> Not currently in stock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el5y Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Also try giving him direct choices. Instead of just fetching what he asks for, maybe start off with a couple of things in front of him and ask him directly--would you like 'XX' or would you like 'YY'. Leaves things a little less open-ended but gives him the power to make his own choice. Might help, might not. Yep, tried that too. points to one thing, open it and he throws a fit says he wants the other thing. try for 5-10 minutes to get him to take the one he chose and the longer you try the more stubborn he gets on it. It used to work but I'm thinking its just the asserting independence thing right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05GT Guru Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Yep, tried that too. points to one thing, open it and he throws a fit says he wants the other thing. try for 5-10 minutes to get him to take the one he chose and the longer you try the more stubborn he gets on it. It used to work but I'm thinking its just the asserting independence thing right now. No kid is going to starve themselves to death unless they have a disorder where they do not feel hunger. Lay the options out there, if they choose one and you make it or open it or cook it and they refuse to eat it then refuse to make them anything else until they DO eat it. They eventually will. I go through this with my five year old sometimes. She started eating very little of her dinner and trying to eat snacks before bed. So then I told her no snacks will be given if she does not eat her dinner. When this happens and she says she is hungry I just rewarm her dinner and she eats that before bed. If she does eat well and then plays for a few hours and is then hungry again then snacks are given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twisty Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 cant really offer any good advice for the terrible 2s, i got lucky with mine i think. overall they were pretty decent at that age, with minimal tantrum throwing. when they did, id remove them from whatever activity/ place we were in and made them quiet. once they realized they were not a part of what we were doing anymore they usually straightened out and wanted to go back. ive been called the kid wrangler by many of my relatives, they were always amazed that i survived taking 10 tween girls to the mall for a few hours for one of my daughters birthday shindigs. my son decided to bail and stayed home. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasejase Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I hate this thread right now. lol my poor little innocent 7 month old, will be a monster soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twisty Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 No kid is going to starve themselves to death unless they have a disorder where they do not feel hunger. Lay the options out there, if they choose one and you make it or open it or cook it and they refuse to eat it then refuse to make them anything else until they DO eat it. They eventually will. yup, ive been through that with my oldest, as well as seeing my bro and his wife deal with it for both their boys. IMO they went the wrong way, they make them special meals outside of the regular meal they eat, dont make them sit with them and eat and pretty much let them rule the dinner. they know when they are at my house they get a plate of what everyone is eating, they have to sit with the group (lots of cousins anyway, they dont really mind too much) and cant get dessert until they eat something. pisses my SiL off when i do that, but i told her my house, my rules. she has the option of not coming over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05GT Guru Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 I hate this thread right now. lol my poor little innocent 7 month old, will be a monster soon. Babies are so easy... atleast mine were. Enjoy these first year and a half to two years as much as you can. You really need to enjoy every stage though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el5y Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Babies are so easy... atleast mine were. Enjoy these first year and a half to two years as much as you can. You really need to enjoy every stage though. yeah just wait until they are mobile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BarManBean Posted July 19, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 19, 2013 I hate this thread right now. lol my poor little innocent 7 month old, will be a monster soon. Your 7 month old will also start to get seriously interesting and cool. They become little super-computer driven learning things that interact with you. It's awesome "Bullet-proof" your OEM TMIC! <<Buy your kit here>> Not currently in stock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05GT Guru Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 yeah just wait until they are mobile. Main reason why people want another kid when there last one is 2-3 years.... because they miss the baby stage. That cute, loveable, smiley stage where they are unable to talk back and do not care or comprehend button pushing drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05GT Guru Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Your 7 month old will also start to get seriously interesting and cool. They become little super-computer driven learning things that interact with you. It's awesome They best thing about the age after is interacting with them. Teaching them, molding them. Doing the stuff that you remember as a child and loved as well as new stuff that you discover along the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurlyOldManMN Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Agreed. Watching my kid learn and develop his own opinions/philosophies has been the most fascinating (and fulfilling) experience of my life. Baby stage was cool, but this is ******* awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CL21376 Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Yep, tried that too. points to one thing, open it and he throws a fit says he wants the other thing. try for 5-10 minutes to get him to take the one he chose and the longer you try the more stubborn he gets on it. It used to work but I'm thinking its just the asserting independence thing right now. Our just about to be 2 year old does the same thing. She asks for something, nibbles at it, then wants something else. Considering she isn't even 20 pounds yet (she was premature) we tend to give in a lot just to get the calories in. Is he a big milk drinker? Our little one goes through about a 1/4 gallon a day, so she gets a lot of calories from that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BarManBean Posted July 19, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 19, 2013 Yeah. I wasn't a fan of baby stage. Cute and all that, but seriously unrewarding, IMO--they give very little back. Not meaning to sound harsh here, lol, but my son learning stuff and playing, etc is very cool. "Bullet-proof" your OEM TMIC! <<Buy your kit here>> Not currently in stock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
05GT Guru Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Yeah. I wasn't a fan of baby stage. Cute and all that, but seriously unrewarding, IMO--they give very little back. Not meaning to sound harsh here, lol, but my son learning stuff and playing, etc is very cool. The best thing the baby stage gives back is when they realize who you are. You walk in and their face lights up and eventually say dada or whatever it is they call you..... probably asshole if you have baby mama drama. But atleast they recognize and love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twisty Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 all 3 of my kids said dada first. gotta love that. when their mom would try to get them to change to mama they would say "dadadadadadadadadaaaaaaa" for a while. that part was awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el5y Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Our just about to be 2 year old does the same thing. She asks for something, nibbles at it, then wants something else. Considering she isn't even 20 pounds yet (she was premature) we tend to give in a lot just to get the calories in. Is he a big milk drinker? Our little one goes through about a 1/4 gallon a day, so she gets a lot of calories from that. Our son was 5 weeks premature at 5.5lbs. At 6 months he was only 11lbs. He had surgery around 6 months and within the next month was up to 16 lbs. He hit 20 lbs at around 17 months. Now at 27 months he's at 27 lbs. He doesn't drink a whole lot of milk. Maybe 16 oz a day? We used to give him pediasure peptide but he barely ate any solids while drinking that stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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