RuskiTrombone Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am To: David Thorne Subject: Poster Hi I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon. http://lh6.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFfm-6hVmI/AAAAAAAAvt8/oKNSb6I0BTA/s800/1.jpg This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number. Thanks Shan. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?" Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy. Regards, David. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Poster yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat. Attached poster as requested. Regards, David. http://lh6.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFfnDaMTjI/AAAAAAAAvuA/Ct7gQuStUbE/s800/2.jpg ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small? ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space. Regards, David. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster Dear Shannon, Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions. Regards, David. http://lh5.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFfne7OfEI/AAAAAAAAvuE/BdmFBJ-lDKU/s800/3.jpg ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster http://lh6.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFfnlWC7-I/AAAAAAAAvuI/NyCaP6Jf-u8/s800/4.jpg ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Awww Dear Shannon, I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions. Regards, David. http://lh6.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFfnx1F-CI/AAAAAAAAvuM/vYcAz-1aQZ0/s800/5.jpg ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Awww Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Awww I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill. I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven. Regards, David. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww Please just use the photo I gave you. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww http://lh5.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFfsswRi1I/AAAAAAAAvuU/RAAE2rJZ5Lc/s800/6.jpg ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww http://lh4.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFfs77vwTI/AAAAAAAAvuY/q3cViz93Or8/s800/7.jpg ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it. ------------------------------------------------------------- From: David Thorne Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm To: Shannon Walkley Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww http://lh4.ggpht.com/_l4nAm_nLyEw/TGFftMEyokI/AAAAAAAAvuc/EslYWK63lcI/s800/8.jpg ------------------------------------------------------------- From: Shannon Walkley Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww Fine. That will have to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegacyGTBiggie Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 OH MY GOOD GOD>>>>>> Roflcopter... Literally got told I was laughing too loud at work.... PERFECTION!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dudeondacouch Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irimis Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 This is so great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuskiTrombone Posted August 10, 2010 Author Share Posted August 10, 2010 The LOST poster was cracking me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdisco Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Ow, Ow burn... McD's sweet tea out the nose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegacyGTBiggie Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I just love how it took her that LONG to just give in and say "that will have to do". I mean I could have made a poster on MS paint in 2 minutes and im a retard with a mouse and keyboard.... This lady is THICK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gire Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 "It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space." -This had me rolling.:lol::lol: This is better than his 7 legged spider bit too. Outstanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dudeondacouch Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I dunno, the spider emails were roflworthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BAC5.2 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 My coworkers think I'm crazy now. Thanks. [URL="http://legacygt.com/forums/showthread.php/proper-flip-key-interesti-159894.html"]Flip Key Development Thread[/URL] "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." - E. Hubbard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegacyGTBiggie Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 who is this guy and why is he so funny by email? Are these real or scripted and thought out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuskiTrombone Posted August 10, 2010 Author Share Posted August 10, 2010 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Thorne_%28writer%29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegacyGTBiggie Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 http://www.27bslash6.com/ nevermind found it and I am laughing histarically. This guy is a TRIP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedraz Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Thanks for that ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LegacyGTBiggie Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 From: Simon Edhouse Date: Monday 16 November 2009 2.19pm To: David Thorne Subject: Logo Design Hello David, <H5>I would like to catch up as I am working on a really exciting project at the moment and need a logo designed. Basically something representing peer to peer networking. I have to have something to show prospective clients this week so would you be able to pull something together in the next few days? I will also need a couple of pie charts done for a 1 page website. If deal goes ahead there will be some good money in it for you. Simon From: David Thorne Date: Monday 16 November 2009 3.52pm To: Simon Edhouse Subject: Re: Logo Design Dear Simon, Disregarding the fact that you have still not paid me for work I completed earlier this year despite several assertions that you would do so, I would be delighted to spend my free time creating logos and pie charts for you based on further vague promises of future possible payment. Please find attached pie chart as requested and let me know of any changes required. Regards, David. http://www.27bslash6.com/images/simons_graphs_01.gif From: Simon Edhouse Date: Monday 16 November 2009 4.11pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Logo Design Is that supposed to be a ******* joke? I told you the previous projects did not go ahead. I invested a lot more time and energy in those projects than you did. If you put as much energy into the projects as you do being a dickhead you would be a lot more successful. <H5>From: David Thorne Date: Monday 16 November 2009 5.27pm To: Simon Edhouse Subject: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design Dear Simon, You are correct and I apologise. Your last project was actually both commercially viable and original. Unfortunately the part that was commercially viable was not original, and the part that was original was not commercially viable. I would no doubt find your ideas more 'cutting edge' and original if I had traveled forward in time from the 1950's but as it stands, your ideas for technology based projects that have already been put into application by other people several years before you thought of them fail to generate the enthusiasm they possibly deserve. Having said that though, if I had traveled forward in time, my time machine would probably put your peer to peer networking technology to shame as not only would it have commercial viability, but also an awesome logo and accompanying pie charts. Regardless, I have, as requested, attached a logo that represents not only the peer to peer networking project you are currently working on, but working with you in general. Regards, David. http://www.27bslash6.com/images/logo_for_simon_edhouse.gif From: Simon Edhouse Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 11.07am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design You just crossed the line. You have no idea about the potential this project has. The technology allows users to network peer to peer, add contacts, share information and is potentially worth many millions of dollars and your short sightedness just cost you any chance of being involved. From: David Thorne Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 1.36pm To: Simon Edhouse Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design Dear Simon, So you have invented Twitter. Congratulations. This is where that time machine would definitely have come in quite handy. When I was about twelve, I read that time slows down when approaching the speed of light so I constructed a time machine by securing my father's portable generator to the back of my mini-bike with rope and attaching the drive belt to the back wheel. Unfortunately, instead of traveling through time and finding myself in the future, I traveled about fifty metres along the footpath at 200mph before finding myself in a bush. When asked by the nurse filling out the hospital accident report "Cause of accident?" I stated 'time travel attempt' but she wrote down 'stupidity'. If I did have a working time machine, the first thing I would do is go back four days and tell myself to read the warning on the hair removal cream packaging where it recommends not using on sensitive areas. I would then travel several months back to warn myself against agreeing to do copious amounts of design work for an old man wielding the business plan equivalent of a retarded child poking itself in the eye with a spoon, before finally traveling back to 1982 and explaining to myself the long term photographic repercussions of going to the hairdresser and asking for a haircut exactly like Simon LeBon's the day before a large family gathering. Regards, David. From: Simon Edhouse Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.29pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design You really are a ******* idiot and have no idea what you are talking about. The project I am working on will be more successful than twitter within a year. When I sell the project for 40 million dollars I will ignore any emails from you begging to be a part of it and will send you a postcard from my yaght. Ciao. From: David Thorne Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.58pm To: Simon Edhouse Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design http://www.27bslash6.com/images/simons_graphs_02.gif From: Simon Edhouse Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.10pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design Anyone else would be able to see the opportunity I am presenting but not you. You have to be a ******* smart arse about it. All I was asking for was a logo and a few pie charts which would have taken you a few ******* hours. From: David Thorne Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.25pm To: Simon Edhouse Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design Dear Simon, Actually, you were asking me to design a logotype which would have taken me a few hours and fifteen years experience. For free. With pie charts. Usually when people don't ask me to design them a logo, pie charts or website, I, in return, do not ask them to paint my apartment, drive me to the airport, represent me in court or whatever it is they do for a living. Unfortunately though, as your business model consists entirely of "Facebook is cool, I am going to make a website just like that", this non exchange of free services has no foundation as you offer nothing of which I wont ask for. Regards, David From: Simon Edhouse Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.43pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design What the **** is your point? Are you going to do the logo and charts for me or not? From: David Thorne Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.02pm To: Simon Edhouse Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design http://www.27bslash6.com/images/simons_graphs_03.gif From: Simon Edhouse Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.13pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design Do not ever email me again. From: David Thorne Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.19pm To: Simon Edhouse Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design Ok. Good luck with your project. If you need anything let me know. Regards, David From: Simon Edhouse Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.27pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design Get fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BAC5.2 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Awesome. I wish that site wasn't blocked at work. [URL="http://legacygt.com/forums/showthread.php/proper-flip-key-interesti-159894.html"]Flip Key Development Thread[/URL] "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." - E. Hubbard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SurlyOldManMN Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I loves me some David Thorne. He's the design world's BOFH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishbone Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 One thing I don't quite get is ... how does he end with these solicitations? I can't access the site at work either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I 5EAT Turkey Clubs Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 These remind me of this website which is hilarious: http://www.dontevenreply.com/ The difference is these people put their ads on craigslist and some random jack-ass replies...Not sure how this other fellow keeps a business going except for the fact that people like me would use him for his awesomeness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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