RyanGT

Doesn't the Porsche car club have an autocross event this month?

Bummer! I have a wedding to go to. My LGT is itching to shred some rubber!

I believe I drive my Golf TDI harder on the streets than those people who drive their "race car built but never tracked" LGTs.

I just checked the Chuckanut website. They lost the GP venue for the autocross. I know some of their club members run and organize TSD rallies which we run on Fridays. For me, Bremerton is closer than Bellingham.

Thanks. My LGT won't be ready by 4/15. I may have to run it in my TDI. Just file an extension for your taxes. Tell the IRS you have an AutoX event!

Thx boxkita. Isn't Packwood close to the Ridge? I am thinking of doing AutoX with the Bremerton club. SCCA AutoX is way too competitive. I just want to do it for fun.

You didn't give us an update on your last AutoX.

I bought mine in Sep 2004. Started my first track day on it in Sep 2008. I thought you had just bought yours recently because you weren't active until fairly recently. Now it all makes sense b/c I would have bought a different car if I had wanted it to be a track toy. LGT wagons are fun to drive on the track but I think the length of the wheel base can be unwieldy especially on T3A/T3B at PR.

boxkita, did you get your wagon new and then just decide to rape it a little less than a year ago?

Due to the unusual severity of the quake that hit near D.C., the GOP representatives in the House called an emergency session and adopted a bill to rename the fault that runs under the Capital. It will now be known as "Obama's Fault."

In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw element in the world what would it be?" Little Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, "I would want platinum, because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette" The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Why Johnny?" He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!"

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.

Little Johnny's father asked him, "Do you know about the birds and the bees?" "I don't want to know!" little Johnny said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong. "Oh dad," Little Johnny sobbed, "At age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter bunny' speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no tooth fairy' speech! If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really f**k, I've got nothing left to live for!"

2 little sperms were swimming together. 1 said to the other "Is it far to the ovaries?" The other one replied "It's f**king miles away my friend! We've just only swam past the tonsils!"

Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. "I'll have a glass of blood," said one. "I'll have a glass of plasma", said the other. "Okay," replied the bartender, "That will be ... one blood and one blood lite..."

A Rabbi, a Taoist monk and a Priest walked into a bar. The bartender said "What's this? A joke?"

Amy Winehouse walks into a bar.... the bartender says "Sorry we don't serve spirits."

When asked if he preferred legs or breasts, Paddy said that he had a fondness for shaved fannies. He was then informed that this was not an option at KFC!

Paddy says to Murphy, "How do you spell Orange?" After thinking for a while, Murphy says "Do you mean the colour or the fruit?"

Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword puzzle. Paddy said "How do you spell paint?" Murphy said "What colour?"

The Police came to Paddy's house and told him that his dog had just chased someone on a bike. Paddy said "F**k off, my dog hasn't got a bike!"

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison. And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again." Turning his head, he YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

A wife asked her husband to describe her. He said "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K". She asked "What does that mean?" He said "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot." She said, "Oh that's lovely! What about I, J, K?" He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"