Bolksey85 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 a man and a woman. How To Shower Like a Woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumicestone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.Throw wet towel on bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BENCOB Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I just about fell on the floor reading this, my wife asked if I was laughing or crying...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialB Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Soo true and soo effing funny omfg totally just made my morning and i just saw a ferarri 458 drive by Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haight 05LGT Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Thats amazingly accurate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HipsterDoofus Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Damn funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrimeRib Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Welcome to the first joke ever circulated on the internet...in 1991. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HipsterDoofus Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 shut the **** up and let us laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrimeRib Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 shut the **** up and let us laugh. I never said that I didn't laugh. I still shake my trouser snake at my wife while making the woo-woo sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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