legacy2.5GT05 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 www.fmylife.com F*** My Life FML - Your everyday life stories. My life sucks but I don't give a f*ck Hilarious site!! A few of my favorites: Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a shit. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterJMC Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 For the love of god, can't anyone put the damn computer down for 5 minutes to cake a crap? Yes, technology is useful but when you need your computer to take a shit, you need to seek addiction counselling. When you have an auction ending in minutes... and you have explosive diareha... I would and have taken my laptop to the bathroom When you've read all the product labels and magazines within arms reach from the crapper... I would have taken the laptop to the bathroom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoplightAssassin Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 lmao... "Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the f*** up!". FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterJMC Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I had to share my laughter with everyone in my office after reading that one earlier this morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterJMC Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "**** you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeislord Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Hahaha. This is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocHolladay23 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 subscribe, nice find [sIGPIC][/sIGPIC] You want stickers? Hit me up here!!! You want a shirt? Hit me up here!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoplightAssassin Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 lol I told my bro about the lesbian one and the kid with the blue martian play doh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoplightAssassin Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML :lol::lol::lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemo Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML If you don't vote Trump, out, you're a bigot who hates america. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 great site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoopMan Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I 'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legacy2.5GT05 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up, she was texting. FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradlgt21 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 That last one is hilarious. Girls can't get away from that crap it's so annoying. I have never had it go that far but I have had enough silent car rides because of texting to get pissed about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyote_Lips Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 subscribed... Yup... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradlgt21 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML:lol::lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rika Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoplightAssassin Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 "Today, in basketball practice my coach was putting in teams to run drills. He points to me and says, "You, go babysit my son by the stage." FML" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebpda9 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML Today, I received a random packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML some of these cannot be true:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legacy2.5GT05 Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtmenace Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 :lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NSFW Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML That is f***ing hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemo Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Z100 Morning show was talking about this site on the radio this morning. too funny. If you don't vote Trump, out, you're a bigot who hates america. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishbone Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 For the love of god, can't anyone put the damn computer down for 5 minutes to cake a crap? Yes, technology is useful but when you need your computer to take a shit, you need to seek addiction counselling. I often visit and post this site in the crapper on my iPod Touch. In fact, I am doing so at this very minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterJMC Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I often visit and post this site in the crapper on my iPod Touch. In fact, I am doing so at this very minute. Fishbone this would be your entry on Fmylife that I predict will happen in the near future... I often visit fmylife.com and post this while on the crapper on my iPod Touch. Today while reading it slipped out of my hands and plunked into the toilet water and right into a liquid turd - FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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