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Random jokes for today


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I'm no Bosco but here's a few I found:


Talking to mother A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:


"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is."


"Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her."


"You were perfectly right."


"You want to speak with her? All right."


He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room:


"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"





The lousy weatherman

Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.


That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.


He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.


Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me." :rolleyes:






Quickest way to Dublin A traveller was making his way through Ireland when he stopped to ask directions.


"What is the quickest way to get to Dublin?" he asked a native Irishman.


"Are you going by car or by foot?" he was asked.


"By car."


"Well, it's quite obvious to everyone....that is by far the quickest."

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