ehsnils Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Some of the texts here may be a bit outdated as they were written back in '86 - but they will still allow for a good laugh! Warning! - Most of these may be illegal or harmful to your health if caught! Phone Stuff Call a sweep tone or similar obnoxious number, then call people at random with three-way. Call some hacker friends and tell them to call you back in an hour, because you think you're going to be busted. Forward your calls to the police department. Call Kentucky Fried Chicken and ask "Do you have extra crispy breasts?" Look up "Mary Stewart" or something in the phone book. Call this number and ask for Mary. If they say "she's not here", yell "Well where the hell IS that bitch?" Ask to use your neibhor's phone. Call 911 and put the phone down. Leave. Sibling Meanness If you have at least two (younger) brothers or sisters, wait until they go to bed, then move them to each other's beds. If you have just one little brother or sister, put s/he in the bathtub. Mall Shit Drive down to your local mall and... Stroll into a Radio Shack. Walk up to a Color Computer and enter: 10 CLS 20 FOR P = 1 TO 30000 : NEXT P 30 S = INT(255 * RND(1)) + 1 40 SOUND (S,50) RUN turn the volume ALL the way up (if the tv is hooked up to an amplifier, all the better) and leave the store... Go into a toy or hobby store and ask to demo a nice powerful remote-control car. Stand at the entrance of the hobby store and ram the car into shoppers. At the same store, play with one of those robots where whatever you say into the handset is echoed through the robot's speaker. Hide somewhere within the store and position the robot at the front of the store. Proposition women who walk by. Still at the mall, light off an M-80 and yell "Look out, he's got a gun!" Go up to some payfones. Place a collect call to the fone next to you. Go into a Fredrick's or other large lingerie store. Pretend you're looking for something to buy for your girlfriend. Pick up a pair of crotchless panties (or a similar item) and ask them to model it for you. Have them model stuff all night, or until they catch on that you're not going to buy anything. Bring a porno movie. Go into Video Concepts and play it on the 40" projection TV that's in front of the store. Go to Mrs. Field's Cookies, buy a dozen large, flat cookies. Go back to Video Concepts and put them in the CD players. Go to Macy's, or Emporium Capwells, etc. and knock the lingerie off the manequins. On the female mannequins that are completely dressed, open the blouses to the waists. Go to Brennan's or Matthew's and ask the salesmen if they know they have 200 watt amps hooked up to 100 watt capacity speakers. Bring some condoms (fresh or used) and casually drop them into shopper's bags. Or, leaving them on the floor is fine. Stand around a part of the mall where a lot of people walk by. Tell them "Your sock's untied." Go to the mall's pet store. Put powdered jello in the fish tanks. Go to B. Dalton or Waldenbooks. Pick up some issues of Penthouse. Relocate them among the children's books. Bring some crutches. Take off your shoe. Walk around with the crutches, keeping your leg stiff. Make someone think they bumped into you. Fall over and scream in pain. Go to the cutlery store and ask them if they have 4-foot ninja blades. Make up some signs that say "Please Use Other Door" and put them everywhere. Bring your own blank price tags and a pen... Other Stuff Get or make some fake explosives (red tubes tied to an alarm clock, with some assorted wires sticking out, or a fake grenade will do) and drive down to a 7-11. Run into the store, say "Here, catch!" to the clerk. Throw them the fake bomb and run out of the store quickly. Go through the Burger King drive-through. Order about twenty dollars worth of Whoppers, Fries, Drinks, etc. When she says "will that be all for you?", say "oh yeah, I'd like some Chicken McNuggets, too...". When she says "I'm sorry, we don't have those..." etc, tell her to forget it and drive off. Get a suction dart gun. Shoot darts at your cat. Shoot darts at the TV. Get your dad's staple gun out of the garage. Take it down to Safeway and put staples in the bread. Put yellow dye in the swimming pool. Chocolate syrup is also interesting. Slap "KKK and Proud" bumber stickers on your niebhor's cars. If your neibhor has a "Le Car", pop a tire and write "Le Flat" above it. Grab a can of metallic purple spray paint and go at your neibhor's citrus tree. Go down to Main Street. Bring some chalk and draw sillouettes of bodies on the sidewalk. A little fake blood can be added for realism. Draw a sillouette of a gun. Buy some Wondra hand lotion (which is off-white) and put it on doorknobs, gas pump handles, etc. Walk to your local gas station late at night. Re-arrange the metal numbers on the price signs. Go to a church and rearrange the letters on the marquee. Remember that GOD anagrams into DOG. If there is a sign saying "Christmas Dinner" take out the "m". Make a water-based dye. Paint your dog polka-dotted. (Don't do this to your cat because he will lick off the dye and get very sick. Save this for your neibhor's cat.) Use a little bleach and give your dog some vertical stripes. Go out to the country and push cows over. (This is really fun.) Throw a rubber 4-square ball off a freeway overpass. That's It! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncretter Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I like the 5th mall one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pillboy Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I thought this was going to be a thread on masturbation. It is still ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 I have a new one: In some places there are ATM:s that can provide dual currency output, like here in Sweden a few can provide both the Swedish Krona and Euros. I was thinking that you may put up a sign saying that "Due to a temporary problem the currency given is the opposite of what you select. Please select Euro for Krona and Krona for Euro." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaos22B Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 I have a new one: In some places there are ATM:s that can provide dual currency output, like here in Sweden a few can provide both the Swedish Krona and Euros. I was thinking that you may put up a sign saying that "Due to a temporary problem the currency given is the opposite of what you select. Please select Euro for Krona and Krona for Euro." HAHAHAHAHAHA I like that one! Some of that list is awesome... Some of 'em make me think I'd get arrested... and some... are just WRONG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted December 3, 2012 Author Share Posted December 3, 2012 Bump. I'm bored at work... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Donated Too laff79 Posted December 4, 2012 I Donated Too Share Posted December 4, 2012 this thread is bad and you should feel bad for bumping it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twisty Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 do you feel bad for bumping it also? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Donated Too laff79 Posted December 4, 2012 I Donated Too Share Posted December 4, 2012 not in comparison. His was a 4 yr bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Donated broknindarkagain Posted December 4, 2012 I Donated Share Posted December 4, 2012 bump just to piss off laff -broknindarkagain My Current Project - Click Here COME AND TAKE IT "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Donated Too laff79 Posted December 4, 2012 I Donated Too Share Posted December 4, 2012 http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/045/854/2f4/resized/progeria-meme-generator-herp-derp-e00b83.jpg?1305066522.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twisty Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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