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Bye Bye Daddy Daycare


FJuan

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Hello Mods!

 

It's been exactly one year since I quit my previous career to become a stay home dad for my 1 1/2 yr old girl. I now have a new career starting Tuesday and I'm sooo excited to get out of this house and talk to mature people......besides you guys on this forum.

 

Once the $$ starts pouring in, I'll have one hella of fast baby mover (LGT).

 

Anyone else a stay home Dad or Mom?

My wife's balls are delicious.
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Most parents in American Society can't afford for one of them to stay home with the kids. It is too bad.

 

On that note. When I leave active duty AC and I talekd about her starting a career while I get my masters degree. She has almost completed hers already. She is much smarter then me :)

 

With her working that would require me to take care of the kids (that we don't have yet) in between homework and classes. Not sure how that will work.

 

F1inspiredLGT,

 

How was a year of childcare? I am sure is was nice to be with the kids but would you rather have been at work?

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F1inspiredLGT,

 

How was a year of childcare? I am sure is was nice to be with the kids but would you rather have been at work?

 

The childcare was fun and I enjoyed watching her grow up. Things became more exciting when they start walking and running all over the place. My wife was jealous because she felt that she's missing part of her beginning years. That's when I decided to go back to work, so, she could work less and have more time with our child.

My wife's balls are delicious.
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  • 10 years later...
bump

??

 

My work offers 4 months off for the primary caregiver. I'll probably be doing that come April. A little nervous about it though, unsure why though, I am not particularly attached to my job (but I am to the money it pays me).

 

I work mostly remotely anyway, so I haven't been productive in over a month (had a 3 weeks off when my kid was born, holidays, watching him grow, etc keeping distracting me from working).

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My wife has been a stay at home mom(for the most part) since our first child was 2, she is now 9. She has had part time jobs here and there in the evenings. Mainly because while I can pay all the bills and for the house, supplies and 2 cars etc it leaves her with very little money to spend on herself. So she works for spending money and some food money.

 

Aside from money I really enjoy her not working. The house is usually clean, dishes are done, dinner is made etc. All good things when I get home at 6pm and just want to eat and chill out with the family.

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My other half stays home with our almost 2 year old and is 7 months pregnant with my son. She stopped working early on in the last pregnancy and has been a stay at home mom every since. She has taken on a number of side gigs, selling clothing and jewelry, etc, but they have all cost me money instead of making extra for us. I work full time and we have enough money to pay bills and not starve, but nothing more. If my car breaks down, I will be walking 25 miles to work.

 

They say money doesn't buy happiness. But, barely making enough to survive doesn't promote happiness either. Its a tough call though. I love having her there to raise my daughter, and if she worked part time, she would make enough to cover day care only, so its a wash.

 

Maybe if she cooked and cleaned I would have a different attitude towards it?

John Hancock

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I agree, it's not as simple as "money doesn't buy happiness". The weight of finances in our society can create depression, is a leading cause in break ups and divorce etc. It may not buy happiness but it sure does make it easier to be happy.

 

We too have faced the whole if she worked first shift she would barely cover the 2,000-3000 dollars a month in daycare costs to watch our 3 kids in the summer when school is out. So she usually works evenings. Which means we don't get to see each other throughout the week most days when she is working.

 

If she is staying at home and not working or going to school I personally would expect her to take care of the domestic chores. That's just me though.

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Ya, it definitely makes it hard when I do all of the cooking, most of the laundry, I get up with the baby if she wakes up, etc.

 

I'm saving every penny possible to afford project #YNANSB, but we live in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment, so I don't even have a place to do the build anymore.

 

Adulting is ******* overrated, if you ask me. I thought I'd ring in 30 in better shape than this.

/ranting

John Hancock

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Ya, it definitely makes it hard when I do all of the cooking, most of the laundry, I get up with the baby if she wakes up, etc.

 

I'm saving every penny possible to afford project #YNANSB, but we live in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment, so I don't even have a place to do the build anymore.

 

Adulting is ******* overrated, if you ask me. I thought I'd ring in 30 in better shape than this.

/ranting

 

Don't get me wrong, our situation isn't perfect and has caused arguments from time to time.

 

HER: "Just because I stay home with the kids doesn't mean I have all day to clean this house etc"

 

Me: "That's exactly what it means"

 

Shit like that.

 

But she tries and I try and we make it work.

 

I do enjoy the days she watches too much food network and then I come home to a meal I haven't even heard of before.

 

Being an Adult is overrated. I miss the care free, no responsibilities lifestyle I used to have sometimes. Especially when things get tight. But my kids are great and there is no love I have experienced that matches what I feel for them.

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my kid's due in under a month.

 

Mine is 8 weeks old now. So, still not human, but getting closer to looking at me and smiling every day. Just in the spasm arms and legs mode now.

 

I can see how staying home alone all day with him would be hard.

 

Right now it's, oh he needs to nap, let me set up down so I can clean. Screaming, that didn't work. Hold him, goes back to sleep. Try and strap him to me / Wife and clean. Screaming, he doesn't want us to move around like that when he is sleeping.

 

Okay I guess I will sit on the couch and hold him so he can nap. He is getting better at sleeping on his own though.

 

Don't get me wrong, our situation isn't perfect and has caused arguments from time to time.

 

HER: "Just because I stay home with the kids doesn't mean I have all day to clean this house etc"

 

Me: "That's exactly what it means"

I tend to agree with you, but, have you tried staying home all day with them (just you) and seeing if watching your kids gives you time to clean? Or do they need to be constantly watched / engaged with? Maybe she doesn't actually have time to clean or you know like most people she doesn't want to clean...

 

Take off as much time as you can to help out when your kid is born. My wife lost a lot of blood and basically couldn't get out of bed for 2 weeks. For those two weeks I changed 99% of the diapers. It was only after 3 weeks that she started to change a diaper every now and then.

 

Nursing is hard. They really don't stress that enough. My wife had 5 weeks of painful (cracked, bloody, falling off) nipples before it got better. Lactation consultants are very very helpful.

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Mine is 8 weeks old now. So, still not human, but getting closer to looking at me and smiling every day. Just in the spasm arms and legs mode now.

 

I can see how staying home alone all day with him would be hard.

 

Right now it's, oh he needs to nap, let me set up down so I can clean. Screaming, that didn't work. Hold him, goes back to sleep. Try and strap him to me / Wife and clean. Screaming, he doesn't want us to move around like that when he is sleeping.

 

Okay I guess I will sit on the couch and hold him so he can nap. He is getting better at sleeping on his own though.

 

 

I tend to agree with you, but, have you tried staying home all day with them (just you) and seeing if watching your kids gives you time to clean? Or do they need to be constantly watched / engaged with? Maybe she doesn't actually have time to clean or you know like most people she doesn't want to clean...

 

Take off as much time as you can to help out when your kid is born. My wife lost a lot of blood and basically couldn't get out of bed for 2 weeks. For those two weeks I changed 99% of the diapers. It was only after 3 weeks that she started to change a diaper every now and then.

 

Nursing is hard. They really don't stress that enough. My wife had 5 weeks of painful (cracked, bloody, falling off) nipples before it got better. Lactation consultants are very very helpful.

 

 

I have never been a stay at home dad. But I have spent entire weekends and days without her. Not saying it's always easy but "I don't want to clean" isn't a valid reason imo. Just like saying I don't want to work is a valid reason for not working. I'm not saying I refuse to help, but if you are a stay at home parent I don't think it is unreasonable to handle a majority of the domestic chores.

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