deneb Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Subject: why did the chicken cross the road.... HMMMM GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people. RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road-syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. MARTHA STEWART No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. VOLTAIRE I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it. RONALD REAGAN What chicken? CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken XP, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS I missed one? Here's a couple Redneck Haikus: Clyde's retirement plan: twenty-five dollars worth of lottery tickets School hot lunch program shut down after cooks were caught brewing white lightning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KA81 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 hahahHAHAHA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elpete77 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Why did the gerbil NOT cross the road? It was stuck in Gere. Get it?!!!! Hahahahahah111!!!!!11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Jedimaster* Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Why did the n00b post without Cliff's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pacbreak gt Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 To attempt to escape the wrath of Jack Bauer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zennoodle Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Oh man, I'm in class right now...I started chuckling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relhok Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BDII Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone. my favorite Need forum help? Private Message legGTLT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gfxdave99 Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Why did the little boy cross the road? To get away from Michael Jackson. If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. - Mario Andretti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLegacy99 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 To attempt to escape the wrath of Jack Bauer? Agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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