Stupid warning labels

[ehsnils]

Warning #1: Danger Mouse

 

Seen in the manual for an SGI computer: "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers."

Smacking them with the keyboard, however, is perfectly permissible.

 

Warning #2: Booze Blues

 

Seen on a Terrestrial Digital outdoor antenna: "Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant, or both."

Of course, if you're drunk and pregnant, you probably have bigger problems.

 

Warning #3: Three-Dimensional Danger

 

Seen on a Samsung 3D TV disclaimer: "Pregnant women, the elderly, sufferers of serious medical conditions, those who are sleep deprived or under the influence of alcohol should avoid utilizing the unit's 3D functionality."

Man, those drunk moms-to-be just can't catch a break!

 

Warning #4: Options, Options

 

Seen on a computer software package: "Optional modem required."

The writer's mandatory English language class, incidentally, was not completed.

 

Warning #5: Microwave Madness

 

Seen on a microwave oven manual: "Do not use for drying pets."

To be fair, some people totally misunderstand that "hot dog" button.

 

 

Warning #6: iPod, iEat

 

Seen on Apple's iPod Shuffle marketing materials in 2005: “Do not eat iPod Shuffle.”

Wait -- does that apply even if you're drunk and pregnant?

 

Warning #7: Wet Set

 

Seen on a TV manual: "Do not pour liquids into your television set."

Uh, hello? I'm pretty thirsty after eating that iPod, and it'd be rude not to share.

 

Warning #8: Laser Loser

 

Seen on a laser pointer user manual: "Do not look into laser with remaining eye."

And sorry about that missing eye, by the way; we really should have warned you not to stare into the laser.

 

Warning #9: Warning Overdrive

 

Seen on the case for Jabra's Drive 'N' Talk car Bluetooth speakerphone: "Never operate your speakerphone while driving."

Also, never read warning labels with your eyes open. It's dangerous.

 

Warning #10: Watch This

 

Seen on the packaging for a wristwatch: "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants."

I guess some dudes really are desperate to get a couple of hands down there.

 

 

 

 

Found here: http://www.itworld.com/security/177163/30-ridiculously-dumb-tech-warning-labels