Religious Humor

[BoxerGT2.5]

A buddy of mine emailed me this joke. I'm catholic BTW and I was LMAO

 

 

Priest works in the confession booth.

He needs to go to the WC really bad, so he asks the cleaning guy to stand in for him.

"It's easy," explains the priest. "I have here a list of sins and the penitence for each of them. So just follow the list."

So, the priest goes, guy sits in and waits.

Some woman comes in, and does the usual stuff:"Bless me father for I have sinned. My last confession was two months ago. Since then I commited adultery." Guy looks up adultery - 10 Hail Maries. So, he goes:"As a penitence, say 10 Hail Maries"

Next, some teenager walks in, and confesses to some shoplifting.

Guy looks in the list and he gives the kid 10 Our Fathers for stealing.

Next person walks into the booth and goes:

"Bless me father for I have sinned. My last confession was 3 months ago, and since then I had anal sex"

Guy looks at the list - there's no anal sex on the list.

He peeks out of the booth and calls the altar boy.

"Psst. Hey kid. What does the father usually give for anal sex ?" Kid looks at him and goes:

" Couple of cookies and the glass of milk".

[BoxerGT2.5]

Brand new priest is supposed to hold his first mass, and feels very unsecure about his sermon.

So, he consults the bishop, to get some useful advice.

Bishop recommends some Martini before the mass, and replacing water from the glass he drinks from during the mass with Martini.

This should have a relaxing effect, and "stage fright " should be gone.

So, the new priest does everything as suggested, and, really , after some martini, he is doing the sermon without problems.

After the mass, the priest asks the bishop for the opinion about his performance.

" You see, martini really killed the stage fright, but it also seems to have clouded your good judgement of terminology." says the bishop.

First, we do not refer to jesus christ and the apostles as "J.C. and the guys".

Secondly, David slew Goliath, he didn't kick the shit out of him,

And last , but certainly not the least,

we do no refer to mother of jesus as "Mary with the cherry"

[gfxdave99]

Owww.. my sides hurt

[Luminati]

[Driver72]

I find those jokes in VERY bad taste, personally.

 

Please delete.

[gfxdave99]

I find those jokes in VERY bad taste, personally.

 

Please delete.

 

Scratching head.. if you are the type to be offended why would you even click on a post called religious humor.

 

Why dont we just take all the sex and violence off of TV so you wont be offended there either.

[Driver72]

Sex and violence isn't targeting a particular race or religion.

 

Say you were Jewish and I posted a pretty harsh and degrading Jewish joke

on this internet forum.

It would get you upset and get deleted immediately.

 

Jokes about peoples race or religion offends A LOT of people.

 

I had one of my posts (which was a link that was emailed to me) that I thought was VERY FUNNY and didn't EVEN mention race or religion and wasn't

NEARLY as offensive as this get deleted today too.

 

What's next, jokes about the Pope?

[ksnh]

What's next, jokes about the Pope?

Sure, why not? He's not my icon, and as long as I keep it clean, who are you to say that humor which targets any aspect of your particular religion is off-limits for an off-topic forum? The past Pope's church in America has been in disarray because of scandal after scandal; any Fortune 500 company with similar issues would be lampooned mercilessly in virtually every media venue, and stockholders would be screaming for CEO-level beheadings. But because it's religion, the "buck stops here" guys in the Church should be cut a pass?

 

Here are the sections of the Forum conduct rules which apply to this thread. I did the content check-list for you to be helpful. It's in bold type:

 

2) Any unacceptable content (threads, posts, member names, avatars or subject lines containing profanity, sexually graphic (probably, see below), or offensive language, etc) can be edited, closed, or deleted.

 

3) We do not allow harassing (nope), threatening (nope), racist (nope), abusive (nope), hateful (disdainful, maybe; hateful: no way), violent (nope), demeaning (nope) or obscene language (not obscene although arguably offensive; but completely fixable. Would that fix remedy your objection?) or behavior.

 

 

The first of the two posts that set you off would have been equally effective using a euphemism for the more graphic term, but I'm guessing that your sense of outrage would not be any different.

 

If we had a coding system similar to the MPAA movie ratings, we'd be all set:

 

~~~ SS = Super sensitive. Kids under 13, and neurotic PC folks who just can't deal. Light Disney fare only. No making fun of people, just animals.

 

~~~ S = Sensitive. Ages 13 - 16, (and PC parents, who are a mess while they participate, but do so because they want their kids to learn how to think for themselves). Similar to PG-13 movie ratings. S-Bombs are okay, but not F-bombs. Dark humor allowed, even highlighted.

 

~~~ T = Typical grown-ups. No smut, hate, racism, name-calling, etc. No person or entity is exempt as a target for humor as long as basic content standards are followed. If you don't like a post that passes the content test, find another forum pronto. Similar to an "R" movie rating, but more PC.

 

~~~ D = Dung Heap. Everything goes. No moderators. Whiners become a gnat for hate-filled posters to swat away. "NC-17" or even "X at the theater.

 

I'm guessing most folks want this forum to be a civil "T; where would you like to hang out?

[TSiWRX]

Maybe this Forum, like many others, simply needs a "whatever goes" section?

 

-A

[franklin]

Sex and violence isn't targeting a particular race or religion.

 

Say you were Jewish and I posted a pretty harsh and degrading Jewish joke

on this internet forum.

It would get you upset and get deleted immediately.

 

Jokes about peoples race or religion offends A LOT of people.

 

I had one of my posts (which was a link that was emailed to me) that I thought was VERY FUNNY and didn't EVEN mention race or religion and wasn't

NEARLY as offensive as this get deleted today too.

 

What's next, jokes about the Pope?

The Pope goes into bar and says......

[rc0032]

Maybe this Forum, like many others, simply needs a "whatever goes" section?

 

-A

We had that at one time...

[BoxerGT2.5]

Sex and violence isn't targeting a particular race or religion.

 

Say you were Jewish and I posted a pretty harsh and degrading Jewish joke

on this internet forum.

It would get you upset and get deleted immediately.

 

Jokes about peoples race or religion offends A LOT of people.

 

I had one of my posts (which was a link that was emailed to me) that I thought was VERY FUNNY and didn't EVEN mention race or religion and wasn't

NEARLY as offensive as this get deleted today too.

 

What's next, jokes about the Pope?

 

 

I'm catholic.....I'm posting jokes about MY own religion. I wouldn't post jokes about other peoples religion, simply because I do not understand every religion out there.

[Driver72]

Sure, why not? He's not my icon, and as long as I keep it clean, who are you to say that humor which targets any aspect of your particular religion is off-limits for an off-topic forum? The past Pope's church in America has been in disarray because of scandal after scandal; any Fortune 500 company with similar issues would be lampooned mercilessly in virtually every media venue, and stockholders would be screaming for CEO-level beheadings. But because it's religion, the "buck stops here" guys in the Church should be cut a pass?

 

 

Man you are so off base. He's not "my" icon either. But he's a man of respect, peace and good will. Probably the greatest of all good on the planet, and you think it's okay to disrespect someone like that?

 

As far as comparing a religious man to a CEO? That's WAY far fetched.

 

 

Here are the sections of the Forum conduct rules which apply to this thread. I did the content check-list for you to be helpful. It's in bold type:

 

2) Any unacceptable content (threads, posts, member names, avatars or subject lines containing profanity, sexually graphic (probably, see below), or offensive language, etc) can be edited, closed, or deleted.

 

3) We do not allow harassing (nope), threatening (nope), racist (nope), abusive (nope), hateful (disdainful, maybe; hateful: no way), violent (nope), demeaning (nope) or obscene language (not obscene although arguably offensive; but completely fixable. Would that fix remedy your objection?) or behavior.

 

Here I completely disagree.

The joke is "abusive" in the fact it's talking about pedophiles.

It's hateful in the fact it's demeaning to religious people who do FAR more good than me, you, and everyone on this board.

It's demeaning in that it's assumption that priests engage in child molesting.

That would be like say all blacks and hispanics are criminals! Sure there might have been a few priest who did wrong, but it's demeaning and wrong to make jokes as if all do. It's offensive in that it's making light of a felonious crime and just sick crime.

Would you make jokes about Nazi Germany too? Would that be okay on this forum...if, in your words, "kept clean"?

 

 

What's sad, and quite offensive really, that Chad (Tide) and the moderators see nothing wrong with this demeaning post making fun of GOOD, highly respected men the world over, but saw wrong with the jingle joke song in the link of the first post at this link:

 

http://forums.nasioc.com/forums/showthread.php?t=774620

 

More funny, less demeaning, less disrespectful of honorable good people.

I put this link in this humor section and it got deleted twice.

How is that any worse than the jokes in this section, or all the other talk that goes on in this forum?

[BoxerGT2.5]

Here I completely disagree.

The joke is "abusive" in the fact it's talking about pedophiles.

It's hateful in the fact it's demeaning to religious people who do FAR more good than me, you, and everyone on this board.

It's demeaning in that it's assumption that priests engage in child molesting.

That would be like say all blacks and hispanics are criminals! Sure there might have been a few priest who did wrong, but it's demeaning and wrong to make jokes as if all do. It's offensive in that it's making light of a felonious crime and just sick crime.

Would you make jokes about Nazi Germany too? Would that be okay on this forum...if, in your words, "kept clean"?

 

 

 

Once again I remind that I am poking fun at my own religion. If you are catholic and find the joke offensive in light of the Church's own negligence to handle the problems that exist with priests than so be it. Fact is there is a problem....I didn't make it up just to get a laugh. There HAS been a problem with child molesting in the priesthood. Hence the church has toyed with the idea of allowing priests to marry.

 

You can make jokes about Nazi Germany, they aren't gonna offend me, despite my family being nearly wiped out during the 1940's in Poland. The way I look at it, unless your family was there.....then you don't know and are speaking of sheer oblivion. Which is something I'm not going to waste my time being offended over.

 

Like I said....I'm not going to poke fun or post funny remarks about someone elses religion or nationality. Just my own.

[Driver72]

There HAS been a problem with child molesting in the priesthood. Hence the church has toyed with the idea of allowing priests to marry.

 

 

 

There's also been a problem of people who wear "turbins" attacking and murdering our people in planes, and desiring to murder Americans and any other group supporting Americans.

The joke link I posted, targeted that TRUTH and FACT, and it was deemed wrong and got deleted.

 

Keep in mind, the number of priests that molested children are VERY small overall. You could say that about any religious or racial group.

That would be like saying all Germans were Nazi's and hated Jews.

The fact is many killed Jews but did so out of fear of their own lives if they didn't. The fact also is that communities with mostly black and hispanics have the most violent crime...here in LA you can't turn on the evening news without a story of a felonious crime being commited where the suspect is 50% of the time Hispanic and 40% of the time Black.

But you can't go around making jokes of how blacks and hispanics are violent people!

 

Religion goes the same.

 

Make a joke that's demeaning and disrespectful of Muslims (and how they're terrorists...which they HAVE a problem with) and see how long it lasts, or how well it's taken, especially if you post it on a heavily middle eastern forum.

 

And Boxer, don't get me wrong, I'm not "attacking" you.

I respect the fact you are "poking fun" at your own religion, but I just don't think, IN FAIRNESS, it's right for the moderators/admins to allow some people to poke fun at some people, but not let others poke fun at others.

[franklin]

What exactly did the late Pope/church do to come down on the child molester preists other than try and hide cover it up and /or move them to another parish. Seems their main interest was damage control.

[pacbreak gt]

Man, I was going to post an old nun joke (my aunt is a Sister of the Divine Savior) ) that my dad (a former seminarian) told me. I think I'll wait...

BTW, I thought the jokes were funny.

[BoxerGT2.5]

There's also been a problem of people who wear "turbins" attacking and murdering our people in planes, and desiring to murder Americans and any other group supporting Americans.

The joke link I posted, targeted that TRUTH and FACT, and it was deemed wrong and got deleted.

 

Keep in mind, the number of priests that molested children are VERY small overall. You could say that about any religious or racial group.

That would be like saying all Germans were Nazi's and hated Jews.

The fact is many killed Jews but did so out of fear of their own lives if they didn't. The fact also is that communities with mostly black and hispanics have the most violent crime...here in LA you can't turn on the evening news without a story of a felonious crime being commited where the suspect is 50% of the time Hispanic and 40% of the time Black.

But you can't go around making jokes of how blacks and hispanics are violent people!

 

Religion goes the same.

 

Make a joke that's demeaning and disrespectful of Muslims (and how they're terrorists...which they HAVE a problem with) and see how long it lasts, or how well it's taken, especially if you post it on a heavily middle eastern forum.

 

And Boxer, don't get me wrong, I'm not "attacking" you.

I respect the fact you are "poking fun" at your own religion, but I just don't think, IN FAIRNESS, it's right for the moderators/admins to allow some people to poke fun at some people, but not let others poke fun at others.

 

 

Muslim cleriques have denounces the terrorists as not acting in the faith of Allah. There is a big difference here! The terrorists consider themselves Muslim, however, the cleriques have stated time and time again that they are not TRUE Muslims......radicals if you will. The catholic church has not stated anything about priests not being catholic....they only try to sweep in under the rug and claim sin.

 

You are right.....some people can poke fun at THEMSELVES and/or a group or culture that they belong to. While others looking from the outside in are not "suppose" to. Many races refer to themselves in terms deemed to be derogetory, but if you are outside of that race you do not.

[axis008]

Alrighty, I agree this thread has gone on a bit too long. Sorry to barge into your party. Both sides made good arguments. You may offend your own religion, race, political affiliation, or whatever all in good fun, but someone else might take offense in it. While some of you may not agree with my decision, someone was offended, so I have to follow rules and close the thread.