Clash Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 NO SEX TONIGHT... I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTCanada Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 :lol: I will need to send this to my wife. Of course, depending on the orientation of the planets and other variables that impact mood and sense of humor, she may or may not find it funny. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ih8vtec13 Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 That was good I need to tell that one to some people later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Jedimaster* Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 :bowdown: Nice! :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gt_ltd Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 very old joke, but still kinda funny. This Space For Rent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon05GT Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axis008 Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 That's funny. -ben Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legacy05 Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 :lol: I will need to send this to my wife. Of course, depending on the orientation of the planets and other variables that impact mood and sense of humor, she may or may not find it funny. Tom I feel your pain brotha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADirtyLegacy Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 to quote Larry "i don't care who ya are, that's funny right there!" Kenda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drift Monkey Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 very old joke, but still kinda funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Jedimaster* Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 :lol: I will need to send this to my wife. Of course, depending on the orientation of the planets and other variables that impact mood and sense of humor, she may or may not find it funny. Tom +1 I sent it, but she's being a menstrual case so humor doesn't exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTCanada Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 I'm sending it now. Her "happy week" started yesterday. This should be fun. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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