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The bad pun thread


05pearl

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my kid wanted a spider for a pet. so i went to the shop and asked for a spider. they said they were $70. i said "f that, ill just get one off the web".
I'm a native of South Carolina. I am a dying breed.
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  • 3 weeks later...

I just stumbled on a pile of bad puns...

 

--

 

When chemists die, they barium.

 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

 

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

 

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I never met herbivore.

 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

 

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

 

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-o.

 

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

 

My class is going on a trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

 

I didn't like my beard at first. But, it grew on me.

 

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

 

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

 

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

 

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

 

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

I got a job at a bakery. Nothing to brag about, but I kneaded the dough.

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