JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 A bank is a place that will lend you money only if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubble gum. Roddy Piper in "They Live" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 You can give some people a feather and a rock and they'll come back with a broken rock. John Peirce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Okay brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer. Homer Simpson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless there are three other people. Orson Welles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I hate those complaint boxes they put in at the mall. A woman comes in the shoe store today, so huge she's protected by Greenpeace, and asks for a size 4 shoe. So I asked her if she wants to eat them there or take them home, and she has the nerve to complain about my performance. Al Bundy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. Barbara Bush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KartRacerBoy Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) "At least he has a dick so he at least has something to think with." -- my wife the lawyer describing a judge in one of her cases Edited February 13, 2014 by KartRacerBoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be. -- Applied Murphology Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 http://www.bedug.com/pics/Fun2/av0vDLq_460s_v1.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 http://www.bedug.com/pics/Fun2/aeN7Vnp_460s.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 One of the problems with defending free speech is you often have to defend people that you find to be outrageous and unpleasant and disgusting. Salman Rushdie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 http://www.bedug.com/pics/Fun2/d408ff211e8b4a4c97e8421e918dcedd.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. Fred Allen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I don't want any yes men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth, even if it costs him his job. Samuel Goldwyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. Thomas Jefferson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth even has time to get it's pants on. Winston Churchill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Read this one carefully and look around you when you do. They're working hard on it already. Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God. Gilbert Keith Chesterton Another one that fits: If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. Jay Leno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JmP6889928 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Mark Twain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJr Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others. Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJr Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations. Steve Jobs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJr Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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