jrotes

Old Fart Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.'

 

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'

The old man replied,

'its fart football.'

 

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says ‘Touchdown, tie score.'

 

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,

'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,

'Touchdown, tie score.'

 

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,

'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man.

 

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the

bed.

 

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

 

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.

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http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/1966-World-Cup-Print-C10109476.jpeg

 

 

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Three women : one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting

 

about their relationships and decide to amaze their men. . . . that night

 

all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style , stilettos and mask over

 

their eyes. . . After a few days they meet again .....

 

 

The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night , when my boyfriend came

 

back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask.

 

He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you. . . then we made love all

 

night long.

 

 

 

The mistress state d: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I

 

was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a

 

raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn' t say a word. We just had

 

wild sex all night .

 

 

The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at

 

my mother's for the night, I got myself ready , leather bodice, super

 

stilettos and mask over my eyes.

 

 

 

My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV contr oller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what' s for dinner?'

 

 

Thought this one was pretty funny!

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