bosco Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy....it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humour! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart... FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!' So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?' Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.' We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier..' I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?' I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?' Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. Stay Stock Stay Happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkOblivion000 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Wow... that was... nothing short of mind-blowingly fantastic. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molal24 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 lmao this is great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbrjason Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Wow... that was... nothing short of mind-blowingly fantastic. LOL Absolutely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nemo Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Wow... that was... nothing short of mind-blowingly fantastic. LOL pls fcking 1 :lol::lol: If you don't vote Trump, out, you're a bigot who hates america. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPLGT Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Excellent! Rehab is for quitters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBad Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henryq89 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 lmfao read this over at another site jaja Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfohr15 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 That's awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryandigi Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 haha smarter than the bitch...gotta love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 That's going to turn deadly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madcatz Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 http://www.xxxupload.be/up/bda94cdddf842aad94deda95ebeb686d.gif even Tiger agrees with this -Travis Rob (rao) you're a fine gentleman, thanks I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
06gtleg Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 hahahah that was great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutru01 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 That was fantastic. LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutru01 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 http://www.xxxupload.be/up/bda94cdddf842aad94deda95ebeb686d.gif even Tiger agrees with this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brooklyngenius Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 really old one but it is very good useless signature line where i cant mention my sponsors "First Bagged BL5!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebpda9 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 lol, i like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerboa113 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 nice. "The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men." - Plato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coxx Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 :lol::lol::lol: "Barack Obama, mothaf#%@a! Barack Obama! I'm the president...of hittin' the ass!" -this is not a political view it's merely a quote from a hilarious tv show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkLegacy Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Just sent this out to everyone including my finance... F^&*#$^G priceless.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoopMan Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 :lol: ay plus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonman586 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 ROFLOL! Good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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