Ford mustangs 1-2 at houston: Detroit saved

[BENCOB]

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FORD MUSTANGS 1-2 AT HOUSTON: DETROIT SAVED

Angleton TX--In a shocking development certain to boost Detroit's fortunes, '80s-era Mustangs have finished first and second at LeMons Gator-O-Rama outside Houston, Texas. Ford Motor Company shares rose 29% on the news. Roach-clip and meth futures also showed sizable gains.

 

Based on the same street technology favored by deadbeat dads worldwide, the winnning Mustangs employed race-modified hardware such as a toilet seat, a clothesline-controlled airbrake, and ex-Pinto drivetrain components to give Ford its first major motorsports victory since Steve McQueen's pantsing in LeMans.

 

While technically privateers, the first-place Formula M for Mullet and runnerup Shake & Bake 4-Cylinder Mustang Mafia teams' "Win-on-Sunday, Shitcan-on-Monday" philosophy smelled of official Ford practice.

 

In handing Dearborn its much-needed PR bonanza, the dual Mustangs vanquished world-class opponents including a '78 Toyota HiLux with a skateboard ramp in its bed; the Opel GT of Team Israel (official slogan: "No Fat Shiksas"); and an Alfa Milano that lasted no longer than a bag of its namesake comestibles when locked in a room with Al Gore. Also appearing on the grid were some 4,823 e30 BMWs, the largest collection of beat-ass 280ZXs since Santana's last Day On the Green, and an Acura Integra whose diff case is still in the weeds near Turn Six.

 

To see more on Gator-O-Rama '09 and/or imperil your job with continued time-wasting web surfing, check out the linked junk below:

 

Race Stuff...

 

• Gator '09 Event Pix from LeMons Facebook
  
  
• Skippy, the Amazing Flying Integra
  
• In-Car Compilation from Team Unintended Acceleration
  
• Final Results
  

 

Coverage by the Liberal Media Elite...

 

• Jalopnik
  
• Houston Chronicle
  
• The Houstonist
  
• Speed:Sport:Life's bits on Punishments and the Race
  

 

Penalty & Pit Favorites...

 

• Preach to the Converted Penalty
  
• Marcel Marceau Penalty
  
  
• People's Curse
  
• Sashimi Tabernacle Choir Volvo
  

 

Jay Lamm, Chief Perpetrator

24 HOURS OF LeMONS

5675 Horton Street, Suite C

Emeryville CA 94608

510.655.5980 x23 (Jay direct)

jlamm@driversdoor.com

 

[Reuben]

Hahaha, epic

 

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