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If Microsoft made.....(RANT)


neelnug

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I'm so fed up with the garbage microsoft has put out over the last 10 years. I was an early computer nerd. I enjoyed the simplicity and efficiency of DOS and windows 3.0 and 3.1. Hardest thing was getting your soundblaster 16 to use the right IRQ and DMA. Those days are long gone. The change reminds me of a small agile company that turns into a megacorp. A specialized company that grows so large that it tries to do everything... and ends up doing everything poorly.

 

I was just thinking about what the world would be like if people accepted the same level of performance from other things in their life.

 

Microsoft Car.

Your car might now start on the first try. Reboot it and come back a few minutes later. Repeat until it loads. Might take a few minutes for the car to load up the AC, Radio etc. Until all of these functions are working the car is extremely slow.

 

Be careful when driving. If your car locks up it will just crash.

 

Be careful of svchost. Eventually it will slow your car down to a stop

Microsoft House

If you try your front door key more then 3 times it will lock you out

 

Your house looks really pretty from the outside but it might take 15 minutes before it lets you in to use it.

 

You have to buy a new house every couple years. If you stay with a house to long it will stop running and cause you to have to reinstall Microsoft house. You will have to move in all of your furniture once again and rehang all your pictures on each reload.

Microsoft wife

Unless you have a really young one she will be really lazy and sometimes just stop working

 

You will constantly have to upgrade her, if you ignore the upgrades someone else might take advantage of her vulnerability and use her for dirty work

 

Each new version of your wife is prettier then the last but is slower and slower.

 

Microsoft TVs

It takes 1 minute to change the channel

 

the remote randomly stops working.. you have to reinstall the driver

 

You will randomly get a blue screen right in the middle of your favorite show. It will take 10 minutes for it to reload. Sometimes it will turn back on or not work again.

 

Microsoft Washing Machine

 

It will freeze in the middle of a cycle causing you to unload the laundry, reload it and try again.

 

It will automatically try to choose the correct setting for your clothes... many times its wrong but it won't let you correct it.

 

If you accidentally hit the windows key it will interrupt your wash.

 

If will download auto updates it will continually try to restart and update itself right in the middle of a cycle.

Microsoft fridge

 

Its kinda buggy. You might come home to a warm fridge. When this happens it will ask you to press OK to report this to Microsoft

 

You bought a high capacity fridge but most of the room it taken up by the components that run the fridge leaving you little room for food.

 

It includes an ice maker but you have to upgrade to fridge pro for it to actually make ice cubes.

Microsoft IPOD

 

Oh wait they already make it... the Zune. The fastest way to lose your entire MP3 collection...I mean WMA collection.

 

Microsoft Pacemaker and Defibulator (package deal)

 

Its only legal in Oregon...

 

End RANT

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i used to have an XP system and all i ever did with it is disc clean, defrag, check for updates, virus sweeps, reboot, etc. went to a Mac OS X not one problem in almost two years. all i ever do to the Mac is check for updates once a week plus it's a much easier system to use unlike MircoCrap that has 5 different ways to do the same thing. my wife still has a notebook with XP and if i could i would burn that piece of shit and buy a Mac. :icon_mad: bosco
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I wrote this post while I was trying to get my 2 year old laptop to connect to the wireless. It was connecting to every other WAP in the neighborhood... even if they had no signal.... but it refused to connect to my WAP down the hallway. Wireless zero kept locking the computer up and svchost started playing games with my memory. It was a long night and I ended up with a horrible workaround to fix the problem.
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