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ROFL... Awesome joke... Lock is just a matter of time


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On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game

where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate

Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married

or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers

yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal



The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner

(with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers

those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.


One particular game, however, several months ago made the City

of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly

the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all

went down:


DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate



Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."


DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to

Orlando,Florida if you win. What is your name? First only



Contestant: "Brian."


DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"


Brian: "Yes."


DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"


Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."


DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only



Brian: "Sara."


DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"


Brian: "She is gonna kill me."


DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"


Brian: (laughing) Yes, she's at work."


DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"


Brian: "She is gonna kill me."


DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"


Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."


DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."


Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."


DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"


Brian: "About 10 minutes."


DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have

said that if a trip wasn't at stake."


Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."


DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock

this morning?"


Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."


DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"


Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her Mom is staying

for a couple of weeks..."


DJ: "Uh huh..."


Brian: "...and the Mother-in-law was in the shower at the Time."


DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."


Brian: "On the kitchen table."


DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous

hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on

hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to

this. (3 minutes of commercials follow.)


DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?" (touchtones



Clerk: "Kinkos."


DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"


Clerk: "This is she."


DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air

right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours



Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"


DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows

not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo...do you

know the rules of 'Mate match'?"


Sarah: "No."


DJ: "Good!"


Brian: (laughing)


Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"


Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be

completely honest."


DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions,

Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of

you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney

World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal.

Get it Sarah?"


Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."


DJ: "All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"


Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to



DJ: "What time?"


Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."


DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"


Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."


DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to

protect his manhood. We've got one last question,


DJ: You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you



Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."


DJ: "Where did you have it?"


Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"


Brian: "Just tell him, honey."


DJ: "What is bothering you so much,Sarah?"


Sarah: "Well, it's just that my Mom is vacationing with us



DJ: "She saw?"


Sarah: "BRIAN?!"


Brian: "No, no I didn't..."


DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messing' with your head. Your

answer, please?"


Sara: "Dear Lord...I cannot believe you told them this."


Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."


DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you

do it?"


Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."


(long, long pause)


DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."


If I pass you on the right, I'm flipping you off.
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